Training Day
by Ivan Alias
Summary: The adults try to train the new recruits. 'Try' is the important word here.


Greetings! Salutations! Welcome! Aloha! Willkommen! Etc. etc.  
  
Here we are with yet another incident with the four amigos. To whiterose 934, yes, there was a story about these guys, but I removed it because it was, quite frankly, crap. Hence, you are not hallucinating, I hope.  
  
Oh, yeah. I don't own anything in any way or form.  
  
Kudos to those who can guess what the fight scene was inspired by.  
  
Let the games commence...  
  
&&&&&&  
  
It was five o' clock in the morning, and the all the new recruits were outside, against their wills, of course, to do a day-long training session.  
  
"Man, I hate reality." Roberto said gloomily, looking at his watch.  
  
"Yeah, what gives? We should be inside asleep!" Amara said. "I'm sure this breaks our constitutional rights or the Geneva Convention some way or another." She turned to face Piter. "Am I right?"  
  
Piter did not respond.  
  
"Piter? Did you hear me?"  
  
Still nothing.  
  
"Piter?"  
  
"Don't worry," Dean interrupted. "I'll get 'im for ya." He looked at Piter momentarily, then he leaned over to Piter's ear. "WAKE UP, PITER!"  
  
Piter jumped on the spot. "What? Are we there yet?" He saw everyone looking at him critically. "Hey, I wasn't asleep, I was merely..." he thought briefly. "...okay, I can't think of an alibi."  
  
"Okay, people!" Scott yelled. "The first training session today is water rescuing. I'll need four volunteers, so Piter, Kitty, Amara and Roberto, you'll do as the victims."  
  
"I thought he said he needed volunteers." Piter whispered to Amara.  
  
"That's what a volunteer means in his vocabulary." She replied.  
  
"He needs a better dictionary..."  
  
The four people unceremoniously got into the deep end of the pool. Piter shivered violently. "Jesus, this water is cold!"  
  
"What do you want me to do, Piter? Fetch you some slippers?"  
  
"Gee, would you Scott? Y'know, I'd really like that."  
  
Scott rolled his eyes. "Okay, the rescuers are Lexy, Sam, Bobby and Tabitha. When I blow my whistle, you all get your victim out of the water as soon and as safely as you can. Ready?" He looked at the rescuers at the end of the pool. He blew the whistle.  
  
Sam dived in immediately. Tabitha sighed, and then jumped in after him. Bobby made one of his ubiquitous ice-slides. Lexy...  
  
"Stop!" Scott yelled. He then turned to Lexy. "Lexy, you're supposed to rescue the victim."  
  
"I know... That's what I was doing."  
  
Scott sighed. "When I say rescue, I mean jump into the water and get them, not walk along the path around the pool!"  
  
Lexy looked confused. "Then why is it there, if you're not supposed to use it?"  
  
"It doesn't matter that it's there, you're supposed to swim!"  
  
"Bobby hasn't." Piter pointed out.  
  
"Piter, shut up. We're supposed to be practising for a water rescue here Lexy."  
  
"I know. That's why I'm taking the safest and most obvious route. There's no point in jumping into ice-cold water this time in the morning when I could just as easily get to the victim in another way."  
  
"She's right, you know." Piter added. "There's no point saving somebody if there is a risk to your safety."  
  
Scott groaned. It was ten past five, and already he felt a migraine coming on. "Piter, you're supposed to be unconscious. Shut up, for once in your life." He turned to Lexy. "Look, what if Piter was drowning in the ocean? What would you do?"  
  
Lexy pursed her lips. "Celebrate?"  
  
"NO!" Scott yelled. "You would rescue him! That's why we're doing these training exercises!"  
  
"Okay... but Piter isn't drowning in the ocean, he's drowning in the pool." Lexy looked again. "Actually, he isn't so much drowning as more looking annoyed. And cold. And tired. And..."  
  
"Look..." Scott said, gritting his teeth. "Just pretend that Piter is in the ocean, drowning. Go and rescue him as if he was in the ocean, alright?"  
  
Lexy looked confused, again. "Well, why would we need to pretend he's in the ocean, if the institute is right beside one? Why don't we use that instead of pretending?"  
  
"WE CAN'T USE THAT, IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!" Scott screamed.  
  
"Then why are we pretending he's in the ocean if it's too dangerous?" Lexy shook her head. "Scott, you should really try to simplify things better, y'know. You're not making things very clear. I'm quite confused."  
  
Scott took a deep breath. "Look, just do as I tell you, for once in your life, Lexy? Please? For me?" Lexy pulled a weary look, but nodded. Scott smiled. "Alright. Let's just pretend that Piter has fallen into the ocean. You have been sent to save him. Now, when I blow this whistle..." He pointed at the aforementioned object. "You will rescue him as if he was in an ocean, drowning. Do you understand?"  
  
Lexy nodded.  
  
"Alright then. Everybody back to the start, and..." He blew the whistle.  
  
"HELP! LIFEGUARD! SOMEBODY HELP!" Lexy screamed at the top of her voice.  
  
"NO! You don't yell for the lifeguard!" Scott cried.  
  
Lexy looked confused, yet again. "But, you just said to rescue him as if he was in an ocean drowning. That is how I would rescue somebody, okay?"  
  
"Never mind..." Scott sobbed. He ten started hitting his head off a brick wall. "Why, God? What did I do to deserve this?"  
  
"Alright..." Piter said, looking at his watch. "It's quarter past, and already we're starting to drive people insane." He drew an unhappy face. "At this rate we're never gonna beat our record..."  
  
&&&&&&  
  
"Okay people," Logan said. "It's ten o' clock in the morning, and we all know what that means..." He looked at the teens in front of him. "Sparring." Groans came up from the entire team. He smiled cruelly.  
  
"Can't we just not spar, and then say we did?" Tabitha asked meekly.  
  
"Sorry, kids, you know the drill, and we have to do it. Groups of four, same genders, one sparring partner for each person in the group, only two people sparring at once."  
  
The kids arranged themselves into the expected groups. "So, whit's wanted here?" Dean asked Roberto.  
  
"We're just wanted to do a small fight, no powers, and see who needs to improve their fighting skills."  
  
"That seems simple..." Piter said. "Why do so many people dislike it?"  
  
"We'll see how you feel after it." Sam answered, gloomily. The fights began, with the kids using the martial arts Logan had taught them.  
  
Dean turned to Roberto. "So, shall we start?"  
  
Roberto shrugged, then raised his hands in the universal 'ready' position.  
  
"Is there any rules tae this fight?" Dean said to Roberto.  
  
"Only the no powers."  
  
"That's guid." Dean said, and then kicked Roberto squarely in the groin.  
  
As Roberto fell back, gasping, Dean turned back towards Sam and Piter. "In that case, Ah suppose Ah'll jus' hive tae wait until someone says 'three, two, wan, go.' "  
  
"Three two one go!" Piter said quickly.  
  
Dean spun around on his own axis, delivering a double-handed punch to the side of Roberto's head, causing him to collapse in a groaning heap. "Ah win."  
  
Logan walked over to the prone figure of Roberto, then looked at Dean with a raised eye. "Who taught you to fight like that, kid?"  
  
"Oh, just some psychopath Piter an' Ah used to hing out wi' before we came here." Dean looked at Sam and Piter. "Do yous lot want to fight?"  
  
"Not really..." Sam said, looking at Piter - who was grinning - apprehensively.  
  
"That's bar room fighting, kid. You just put your fist or foot exactly where your enemy doesn't want it to go." He smiled. "That brings back some memories."  
  
"Y'know, it's funny y' should say tha', because the guy who taught us all that fightin' loved bar room brawls. It was the only reason he went to bars in the first place."  
  
"Glad to hear it..." Roberto said, getting up on legs made of water.  
  
Logan looked thoughtful. "What did he look like?"  
  
"Oh, he wis about six-foot-six, wi' long light blonde hair and really bright blue eyes. He looked kinda like a girl, except from the fact he was very un-feminine, and he also had his teeth sharpened to points."  
  
Logan's eyes brightened. "Was he the guy who once laid into the Barzini brothers down in Arizona with the double-handed battle axe, then stuffed a poker cue up the bouncer's nose so it came out through the top of his head?"  
  
"Naw, but Ah did see him once pull the tongue out of a horse's mouth in Mississippi..." the two guys voices trailed off as they walked by, reminiscing about old, and surprisingly bloody bar room brawls.  
  
Sam stared at Piter with a look that went beyond amazement. "Did you really know a guy like that?"  
  
Piter shrugged. "It was a long time ago."  
  
"You'll forgive me..." Roberto gasped, clutching his burning bowels. "If I say I'm glad I've never seen that guy in my life."  
  
"I don't blame you." Piter said, raising an eye at the two guys leaving the garden. "I don't blame you..."  
  
&&&&&&  
  
Twelve o' clock. High noon. Flight simulation. Jean looked up from the sheets of paper she had, and looked at the group walking – or in Roberto's case, hobbling – towards her.  
  
"Alright, everyone!" she said. "It's time for the afternoon flight simulation. I know that it's usually Scott who looks over these simulations, but unfortunately, he needed to lie down after this morning's sessions." Jean glared at Lexy, who put on an injured expression. "So, we'll start off by having Piter as the pilot, while the rest of you are the passengers."  
  
"Hey!" Bobby cried. "Why can't I fly the plane?"  
  
Jean smiled. "We already know you can fly the plane, Bobby." Besides, she thought in the privacy of her own head, I want to go through one day without using those motion sickness tablets. "We need to know everyone else's strengths and weaknesses in order for us to act as a team. It is only when we completely unders-" she paused, realising most people were smirking. She turned, seeing Tabitha behind her. Tabby looked at her with a surprised expression. "What?"  
  
"Nothing..." Jean turned back to the rest of the recruits. "Now..." Tabitha began miming out Jeans speech behind her, using her hand as Jean's mouth. Jean turned back towards Tabby, looking extremely cross. "What?" Tabitha asked, again.  
  
Jean rolled her eyes. "Okay, let's skip the speech and go into the flight simulator already!" With much grumbling and moaning, the recruits did so.  
  
Piter strapped himself in at the pilot's chair, with Jean sitting beside him in the co-pilot's chair. "I like pleasure spiked with pain..." Piter sang, horrendously off-tone. "...And music is my aeroplane, it's my aeroplane... yeah, yeah..."  
  
"Piter..." Jean began. "You're the pilot, not the in-flight singer, so don't sing. If got enough worries in my life without you singing."  
  
Meanwhile, the recruits were all sitting in the passenger places in the plane. Eva sat besides Dean, who fidgeted nervously.  
  
"C'mon already!" Eva yelled to Piter. "Let's move this thing!"  
  
"Well, I may have permission from control tower Eva..." Piter yelled back. "...but control tower Jean is a little less permissive!"  
  
Dean gave a sigh of relief, then began tapping his foot rather quickly. He then started to drum his fingers together, and started whistling under his breath.  
  
"Dean?" Eva asked. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh, nothing..." Dean trailed off, then he started his whistling again.  
  
Eva looked at him peculiarly. "You just seem rather nervous is all..."  
  
"Ah'm not nervous. Why shuid Ah be nervous? Can y' think o' a reason Ah shuid be nervous?" Dean replied quickly, tapping his fingers in a faster rhythm.  
  
"Dean..." Eva said, warningly as the 'plane' began to pick up speed for take-off. "What's wrong?"  
  
"It's nothin' Ah jus'..." Dean trailed off, looking ashamed. He turned back. "Ah don't like flying, okay!?" he replied, a trifle hysterically.  
  
Every recruit, even Piter and Jean, stared at him.  
  
"Why are yous all looking at me like tha'?" Dean asked.  
  
"Uh, Dean..." Ray said, slowly. "You have wings. You should like flying..."  
  
"Ah don't mind flying mysel', its planes Ah jist don't like!" Dean squealed.  
  
"Okay..." Eva said. "Why is that?"  
  
"It's perfectly natural!" Dean snapped. "Ah just get a kick out of being on the ground!"  
  
Piter smirked, evilly. "Oh well," he said in a sing-song tone. "I guess I'd better move this bird out slowly..." He pushed the thrust lever as far forward as possible. "...eh?"  
  
All the recruits were pushed back into their chairs by the sudden acceleration. Dean screamed, and leapt onto Eva's lap.  
  
"EVA, SAVE ME!" He wailed, as the 'plane' started to weave back and forth.  
  
"Piter! Slow down!" Eva yelled up at the cockpit. She turned to the weeping Dean in her arms. "Dean, look, just calm down! Think of other things, like..."  
  
"Roller coasters!" Piter yelled from the front. "Snow boarding! Log flumes! Racing cars!" He did a barrel roll. "Concentrate on this!" He cut off the engines, and put the simulator into a power dive. Every body's stomach immediately dropped.  
  
"Eva..." Dean gasped. "Ah'm gunna throw up, Eva. Ah'm gunna throw up, Eva!"  
  
"PITER!" Eva screamed. "STOP THIS SIMULATOR NOW OR...!" She sighed. "Too late..."  
  
&&&&&&  
  
Xavier pinched the top of his brow. "So, Scott's bed ridden, Jean has quadrupled her anti-motion sickness pills intake, and Logan has gone out to start a bar fight. That's just great." He sighed, and looked at Ororo levelly. "It's at times like these that I wished we had more staff..."  
  
Hank shrugged. "It could be worse, it could be two days from now."  
  
"Why, what's happening then?" Ororo asked.  
  
"Paintball training." Hank glared at Xavier. "I told you that letting Logan plan the training was a bad idea!"  
  
Xavier sighed. "I need painkillers..."  
  
&&&&&&  
  
"Alright!" Piter crowed. "He said it eight hours into the day! Just as I predicted!" he held out his hand. "Pay up, people!"  
  
There was assorted grumbling as people handed Piter cash, who accepted it, gloatingly. "Piter..." Lexy said in a peeved tone of voice. "One day, we're going to find a bet you won't win!"  
  
"That's true..." Piter conceded. "But until then..." he started to count the money.  
  
"Guys," Sam said, "we need to find new things to bet on..."  
  
R&R 


End file.
